God always gives us what we need. God gave us what we needed most when He sent His son Jesus to rescue us from sin. – The Gospel Project

The Wilderness Test. It was the lesson we taught to our kindergarten Sunday School class last Sunday. A shortened synopsis – “God brought His people out of Egypt, and they were on their way to the promised land. But they had to go through the wilderness first. The wilderness did not have much food or water.” (The Gospel Project). As the story continues, we will see how God gave His people food – manna from heaven and quail; He also provided them with water, from a rock.

My mind has been here all week, in the wilderness. It is a place where one is dependent on God.

That can be difficult, especially for people like me. I plan, I save, and I prepare. But then, the wilderness. Living in the peace of my God and resting in His faithfulness is something that my soul has been desiring. My prayers have been to experience Him fully and to have a heart buried in His. So, what happens when you begin to see your prayers answered? You see where you have the hardest time letting go. You begin to see where your faith still wavers. You see where your obedience is in question.

I could have given you a myriad of places where I thought that would be for me. I did not see it being financially, until I had to surrender it to Him. My husband and I decided to stretch our financial giving last year…three times last year we pushed our faith and increased our weekly sacrifice to Him. This is not a “pin a rose on my nose” moment. This is me glorifying my God. I wrestled with sharing this time in our lives with everyone. Conversations about finances always makes one uncomfortable, whether in being the one sharing or the one listening. Somehow, the focus seems to drift from the heart of the matter to things of this world. But, right now…listen with your heart. Be drawn into the wonder of a faithful and awesome God.

The wilderness. It is a place where we have found ourselves, financially. A place totally relying on the Lord…and we feel so blessed because of it. You see, we have always managed pretty well…but we also had never given until it hurt either. We never had found ourselves to the point of sacrifice where we felt it. But then, He began His work in our hearts. We came to a place where we wanted more by having less. That is when, out of a desire to love Him deeper, we decided to give more financially. We saw that though our bank account was dwindling, our lives and hearts were growing. It is something you cannot really describe. I love to paint a picture with words and to help readers capture the essence of something through my writing, but this is truly indescribable. His daily manna for us has proven to be enough. We are at a place where we are fully aware that everything given is provided because of His goodness and His grace. We do not feel despondent in the lack, because we feel full in Him.

The wilderness. It can be unnerving and it is unfamiliar, but it is a place where obedient hearts seek His. It is a place where His manna fills emptiness and His water quenches thirst. It is resting in knowing that He may not always give us what we want, but He will always give us what we need. We can rest in that truth because, “He gave us what we needed most when He sent Jesus to rescue us from sin.” (The Gospel Project).

When your life becomes kingdom-driven, things of this earth truly do pass away. Your hunger for that which is eternal is what drives you. Yeah, the heaviness of tight budgets and all things financial can be overwhelming, but it is in these moments where we seek Him all the more. Yet, even sitting here now, I know there is still so much more of myself to give. There is more work for the Spirit to do in my life. There are still more ways of where I need to let go of me and hold onto more of Him. I am still not at my full giving capacity. He wants all of me – time, money, plans, successes, hopes, dreams…He wants everything that is separate from Him. That is the life I am striving for, one that is 100% percent given to Him and 100% dependent on Him. A life sustained solely on the manna He provides, What a beautiful life that must be.